We are all men. If you take away our academic profile, social profile, or whatever brings class to society, we are all human and men. We are all facing the same challenges as men. Some are obvious, and some are secretly on the inside. When we as men open up about our struggles together, we build character, and strength and also find help. So, I want to talk about 5 Hidden Battles every man faces. If you thought you were alone, let me assure you that you are not alone in these battles.

1. Aloneness

The LORD God also said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make for him a suitable helper”(Genesis 2:18). It is a feeling of isolation, alienation, and loneliness. Many of us never expect to be lonely in marriage, hoping you will be the lifelong companion who saves us from loneliness. But over time, couples can gradually disconnect from one another and find themselves feeling isolated and withdrawn, even for a season.

2. Loneliness

Loneliness is not just about physical proximity; it’s about emotional connection. Sometimes, men feel lonely in the pressures they carry to meet the needs of their family and career, too. If you’re feeling lonely in your marriage you are not alone. I do too. But why do so many men feel lonely?

Research published by Zawn Villines, on 9th December 2019 shows that this happens because men’s masculinity social norms show men that vulnerability is a weakness. From childhood, women are socialized to value friendship, confide in their friends, and foster deep intimacy with close friends which is absent in most men.

Even when men have many friends, they may feel uncomfortable sharing emotions or airing feelings of vulnerability. Why are most men feeling or battling with loneliness even when they are married? How can we overcome loneliness in our marriages?

3. Apprehension

It is a feeling of self-doubt, uncertainty, unsureness, and insecurity. Self-doubt is characterized by feelings of uncertainty regarding one or more aspects of life.

It is a lack of confidence in one’s own. abilities, skills, talents, and even self. It is when you begin to question who you are and what you are living for as everything does not make sense anymore.

When as a man you begin to battle self-doubt, it is the reason you become a destructive critic of your wife and children, you begin to grow suspicious and jealous of your wife, and you begin to force demands and even overreactive to correction or suggestions of your wife or children. Every man I’ve ever had deep, honest conversations with has expressed this same nagging struggle that I have felt from time to time and even feeling right now.

We ask ourselves if we have what it takes to succeed; if we’re making the right decisions, and if any other guys are feeling the same way. In the everyday adventures of life, of being a father, and of leading a church, managing my business, I have questioned many decisions because I wasn’t sure of myself and what I was to do at that moment. To overcome it, I must walk by faith and learn to listen to and follow God’s voice in what I do.

4. Afloatness

It is a feeling of drifting, being emotionally distant, scattered internally, and a lack of direction.It is that occasion in life when a man assesses where he is and where he thought he would be at this moment and realizes he’s not sure where to go anymore.

It is that moment when it’s like you don’t know what you are doing. You have lost interest in a career that has brought you so much good and this point in life. You take a deep look at life and wonder that despite all your efforts it’s like you have not made real progress.

It is that moment when you remember those who either started life with you or after you who appear to be doing far better than you are now. It fills you with pain and sadness which when not well managed is a time bomb.

When I’ve had seasons like that, I’ve learned to first go to God in prayer and also to share with my wife, Ngozi, to get her counsel. I have also found that wise, godly men who will listen to me and give me good counsel often help me understand myself better and choose a direction to move toward.

5. Abuse

It is a feeling of being disrespected, scorned, and unappreciated by your family, especially your wife. Every man loves to be treated as a hero and celebrated. We all carry what psychologists call “the hero instinct”. When a man feels a lack of respect, it can crumble his spirit.

When your wife or child constantly questions your judgment, decisions, and actions, it surely breaks your spirit. A feeling of disrespect is what leads to anger, aggression, and domestic abuse. Often our lack of internal respect is what we express. So, it’s helpful to let our wives and children understand how much we value their respect, without demanding it. It’s even more important that we treat them in a way that earns and deserves their respect.

How do men show this feeling of being abused or disrespected?

Abstinence; Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their body-1 Corinthians 6:18

It is getting over sexual temptation and being sexually faithful. Yes, this sexual temptation is one of the problems men face. A man has sex as a need but not necessarily out of love. With the proliferation of pornography online, the destruction that it brings is just one click away. I just know it.

Since men often battle this in total silence and isolation, it can be a dangerous secret that damages them physically, emotionally, and morally. Families are wrecked every day by men who fail in sexual temptation online, in person, and in marriages and don’t know how to handle those breaches of trust. We must build safeguards, like not trying to travel alone with females other than our wives and sharing our passwords with our wives. We also need to share our struggles with our wives and with other men who will support us. Why is sexual attraction a great battle for men?

Conclusion

  • The hidden battles men face aren’t unique to each of them. It is universal.
  • As a man which of these hidden battles are you fighting?
  • How do our wives help us overcome these battles?
  • I pray, may God continue to do His will in the name of Jesus Christ.
  • Oh God, every spirit of loneliness is canceled by the name of Jesus Christ.
  • Oh Lord, I kick against the spirit of apprehension today in the name of Jesus Christ.
  • O God, I speak against all the evils of afloatness from now in the name of Jesus Christ.
  • Every abuse of any man against me is nullified from this moment in the name of Jesus Christ.
  • I thank you for answering my prayers today in the name of Jesus Christ.